Yo siento

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So it was pretty obvious from a young age school was going to be easy for me. Although I only made straight A's one time, in sixth grade announced at the assembly in front of the school where they brought my Mom in to watch as I floated up to the 'big' stage flush with my accomplishment watching my Mom flush with my accomplishment, I always hovered around the 3.8 out 4.0 range, all throughout junior high and high school. Naturally expectations were made, by me and by others. I was also, and this goes to the story so I am not bragging, Captain of the football team and one of the better receivers in the city. I was visited by colleges and received many letters of solicitation to play here or there. With my academic record, I focused on, and was hit pretty hard and heavy, from the Ivy League schools. In fact, the city newspaper had me listed as going to Harvard to play football.
Ok, back to the reason of this story. Because I was pretty smart, not Will Hunting smart but smart enough to master most subjects with a bit of work, I decided on a career in Medicine because doctors were pretty smart and they made lots of money and garnered quite a bit of respect, which is important to me (you get respect by giving respect just so you know I don't expect respect, you feel me?). And then I went to college and my good study habits did not go with me, in the beginning. It took me a few years to want the knowledge enough to actually put the work in. I don't regret this at all. This time helped me find out what was really important to me. My sage partner in life told me the life of a doctor is hard and much time is spent away from the most important things in my life, my family. But I was so attached to the idea of being a doctor it took me a few times of falling on my face to understand this is not the life I want to live. As much as I would have liked to be a doctor, helping others and the such, the sacrifices of time and moments with my family are not on the trading block for anything, anything.
So now I work in the high tech sector not utilizing a degree in Biology and Spanish. Every once in a while I am reminded of the decision to not become a doctor and there is a wisp of regret because of the challenge and contribution I know would have been rewarding. I come to my job and I am not passionate. I do work hard and take pride in doing a job well done, for the most part. I get to come and go when I please and I work with a good group of people, with the here and there political ploys. I completely and 100% work to live. To spend time with my family and provide a good and loving home.
Could I have been a good doctor? Most definitely. Would I have been as good a Dad and husband. I really don't think so.
These decisions have shaped my life to where it is now. I could not be more thankful for what I have in terms of family and friends. Let me make this more clear, I could not be more thankful for the love and relationships in my life. This is what makes me know I made the right decision somewhere along the trek.

por escrito crabtree on Friday, October 24, 2003

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